The First March

So, first things first. I want to apologize in advance for the month of March. Normally I wouldn’t ask for forgiveness a) so early on in this journey, or b)at all because we all have our times of growth and learning curves, but alas here we are. I want to apologize for March because not only is it my month of change, but it is also a month full of material for symbolism and puns and run-on sentences. I am not a trained writer so, those with amassed vocabularies and linguistic skills please understand this, I not so good with the words but Imma share them anyways! Now, March brings on Madness, the first day of Spring, Day Light Savings Time, Pi Day, and Saint Patrick’s Day. For me, it also defines my time of Change, Growth, Prosperity, and a newfound sense of self. None of you know me yet but are soon to find out I am a woman at the precipice of something big. The last year and a half have been rough. Attitudes have morphed, relationships have changed, healthier habits have started to form, migraines have lessened, and I went from being a diabetic to no longer even pre-diabetic. That last one is a huge victory for me. I was diagnosed as diabetic in October of 2018. I thought my life was over. Diabetic preconceptions flooded my brain for several days after my diagnosis. Then I find out that the diagnosis stems from a larger less treatable problem. I am also a #Cyster. What is a #Cyster you ask? Well, Cyster is a member of the Cysterhood of women struggling with PCOS. PCOS is short for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. There will be plenty of time later in this journey to cover PCOS, but for now, just know it affects a lot about how a woman’s body functions. These diagnoses’ changed my life. I now had to worry about checking blood glucose levels 3-5 times a day, track those readings, and starting a new medication that made me feel lethargic and nauseous. But I did it, I put in the work, changed my diet, took my medicine, and began to chart a new path to health (in theory). Why in theory? I put on pounds, lost some, gained some and lost some. I began a new journey into the world that is Keto and had some success but fell off the wagon. I tried high protein diets and lost some but again fell off the wagon. I ate my feelings and became less and less active and more and more depressed. I started a new migraine mitigation amidst this chaos and, low and behold, that treatment started to work. I went from 15-20 migraines a month to 5-10 and then to 2-7 a month. This is another follow-up conversation waiting to happen. My dad got sicker and my mom began to need more support so I quit my job at my local Credit Union so I could be more available to my parents. I went from a Branch Manager to a housewife and caregiver. I lost my identity because I always put my value in who I was as an employee and how hard I worked. I began losing my relationship with my mother because of the hard-hitting conversations I had to initiate. I also started losing my relationship with my grandmother, better known as Grams. The “Grams” topic is coming up too, don’t you worry. And finally, I lost my dad on January 10, 2020. Now I am ready to march to the beat of my own drum, get my life in order, and find out just what I am made of. March was originally the first month of the year according to older versions of the Roman Calendar and March is the first month to my newfound me. So, today (March 1st, 2020) I am taking my first step in the march to something flipping amazing.